Tezuka's Grand Adventure
by SmilesSqueaksandSerendipity
Summary: Tezuka falls into a strange land where everybody is trying to woo the mysterious Princess. Tezuka finds out that he is the Chosen One Destined to marry The Princess and sets off in an epic journey full of trials and tribulations to Achieve his Destiny!
1. In Which POMPOMS speak

YAY! A STORY!

Disclaimer: We do not own Prince of Tennis because Konomi Takeshi-sensei already claimed it. Dang.

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**Chapter 1**

It was another beautiful, somewhat normal day. The only strange part was that Tezuka was standing in a meadow surrounded by gently waving flowers. Of course Tezuka being surrounded by a field of flora could be considered quite normal compared to the figure standing slightly ahead of him.

Tezuka saw the POMPOM! first. It was hard NOT to see it. It's brightness practically blinded him. Tezuka would prefer looking straight into the sun the looking at the outrageous red. . . thing.

The bright red bob started to slowly move towards his general vicinity. Tezuka hypnotically started at the mind-numbing, brain-stopping, heart-attacking POMPOM! as it slowed to a stop in front of him.

"HI!!"

The POMPOM! had SPOKEN!

Tezuka jumped back a step in shock, too amazed that a mere puff of. . . . puffiness could defy the laws of nature and SPEAK!

And then he realized that he had let his guard down.

For, underneath the hat, there was a figure. And not just ANY figure. . . . this figure was one who was wearing the most outrageous outfit Tezuka had ever seen in his life!

Tezuka could understand the floppy brown pants, the shimmiry reddish-brown shirt, the yellow curved-up shoes, and the dark red hat. All he couldn't fathom was the hen stitched in pearls on his shirt and the huge, fluffy, bright red POMPOM! on his hat.

Especially the POMPOM! .

"My name is Oishi Shuichiro!! How are you?" Without waiting for an answer, the outrageously dressed person continued. "I'm fine!! It's really nice today isn't it? That's a good thing, because you don't have an umbrella. If it rained, you would get wet, then you might get SICK!"

". . . uh. . . . Oishi?"

"Are you hungry? You want something tasty? I know these won't be enough but until I can run down to the castle and get the cook to whip up something tasty, you'll have to have these mushrooms!"

'_Why mushrooms?' _Tezuka wondered.

Suddenly, Oishi gasped. "You must be The Chosen One who has come to rescue the Princess!"

Tezuka blinked. "What Princess?"

As if Tezuka's words were a cue, Oishi launched into a long and well-rehearsed speech. Which, knowing him, probably _was _rehearsed.

"Princess Fuji, otherwise known as the Heiress of the Throne or simply as HT, is the beautiful, gorgeous, talented, and refined only daughter of His and Her Majesties, rulers of the esteemed Kingdom of Wasabima. The HT, which is often mistaken to be the abbreviation of 'Hairy Troll' although it most certainly ISN'T, is of the marriageable age of 15 years, although _technically _she's only 3 considering the fact that Her Highness was born on Febwasabi 29th. Her suitors consist of the. . . uh. . . _unique _At-"

"Wait! He's a girl?"

"Well we don't know exactly. . . " That was when Tezuka concluded that Oishi was mentally unstable.

"I was talking about her suitors, right?" The unique Atobe Keigo, King of the Egocastiel Land is currently her. . . his. . . its major suitor. Atobe defeated many other people in an attempt to win its hand. You must be The Destined One who will fight Atobe to the death for Princess Fuji's hand in marriage!!" Oishi finished off, striking a dramatic pose.

Tezuka blinked. "All this for a Princess who might not be a girl?"

". . . well, our cook says that its only a 40 percent probability that the HT is a guy. . . and another 40 percent that the PF, as she is otherwise known as, might be a girl. . . . "

"What's the other 20 percent?" Tezuka questioned.

"Unknown! Well then, moving on! Princess Fuji herself designed the tests and quizzes her suitors must go through so don't be scared if they're a bit unnatural! At the very least, the only thing you'll lose is your sanity!"

"Did you try to win Princess Fuji's hand in marriage?" Tezuka asked.

"I'm not insane!" Oishi grandly swept back the POMPOM!, "I have my sanity! All of it! I'm not unique enough to try to compete against Atobe." Oishi looked downtrodden, while Tezuka tried to grapple with the fact that there were people _stranger_ than Oishi.

"Now, I have prepared you for the tests. If anything comes up, I'll find you!" With those words, Oishi pushed Tezuka down a hill.

As Tezuka was somersaulted down a long slope, he managed to hear Oishi say, "Good luck if you win!"

Tezuka watched the red POMPOM! Bob away, the last remainder of the strangely OOC Oishi. Sighing dramatically (but in a way that would've surely stopped the heart of every female (and surely male) heart within hearing range), Tezuka turned around and gazed at the sky (NOT the sun of course! Tezuka knew the consequences of staring at the sun!) wondering if Oishi's prep talk was just a way to make him feel nervous. Because Tezuka wasn't nervous. He was secretly exhilarated. This was his DESTINY. And he now had to Achieve his Destiny making him quite a happy boy.

Still, he shoudn't let his guard down. Muttering a "Yudan sezu ni iko' under his, Tezuka purposefully began walking towards the biggest tree that he could see with his (un-blinded) eyes.

To, of course, Achieve his Destiny.

Or so he thought.

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And thus begins Tezuka's quest to fulfill his destiny! YIPPEE!

Review or Oishi will push you down a hill!


	2. In Which People Get Ivyised

**For all those who put this story on alert... THANK YOU! Hope you like this chappy!**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, we do not own The Prince of Tennis although we wish we did...**

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**Chapter 2**

Inui leaned down, lost deep in thought. One might think that he was contemplating the probability of an intelligent baboon teaching innocent children how to fill in a suborbital.

But Inui was doing no such thing.

In fact, he was merely wondering which herbs the Princess would like in her evening meal and which herbs would make her food taster react the strongest.

But, of course, Tezuka didn't know that.

Inui seemed to be the most normal person so far. After all, a person picking herbs could actually be quite sane.

Tezuka walked up to Inui and politely asked directions to the castle. Inui looked up and prompty started taking data.

"Height 6'2", brown hair, hazel eyes which are weak because he has glasses…"

Tezuka fought the overwhelming temptation to order Inui to run laps.

"Am I right to assume that you are a stoic person who rarely talks and must be the Chosen One destined to rescue the HT? Well since most of my assumptions are correct, you must go to that tall sunflower in the middle of that field to get your first mission. Good luck and good day sir."

Saying that, Inui promptly turned around and began his bewildering task once again. . . . leaving Tezuka to gaze at the back of the herb-picking man's head.

The captain opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. . . . and closed it again, imitating a fish.

But Tezuka wasn't a fish. . . . . he was a man! A man on a Quest to Achieve his Destiny! So without any further ado, he set off towards the sunflower with a confident step.

PotPotPotPotPoTPot

Tezuka had been plodding along, contemplating his life, for a while now. After a long and tiring walk, Tezuka reached the sunflower.

Actually, it was a sunflower _podium_, with a blond-ish person on it. Another familiar person was sitting on the ground, wearing a tortured expression.

Tezuka tried to understand what the guy on the flower was saying. After a couple of seconds, Tezuka realized that Davide (Tezuka suddenly remembered his name) was trying to crack jokes. The other one seemed to be bored to the brick of insanity.

In other words, Tezuka was being ignored.

And Tezuka did NOT like being ignored! Especially when he was in the middle of one of his "Don't Let Your Guard Down" speeches (which he wasn't but since Tezuka was Tezuka, his very silence portrayed that!)

But unfortunately, fact is the truth and truth is the law!

Except when the law is corrupt.

But let's not go there.

So, since Tezuka was being ignored, he decided to take in his surroundings. And the very first thing he saw was Davide's outfit.

Actually, Tezuka wondered how he could have missed it at first.

Davide was wearing highlighter yellow boots, hot pink shorts with matching suspenders, and a bright orange shirt that pointedly exclaimed 'BARF!'

Then, of course, was the hat. It was blindingly light green with the HUGEST purple feather that Tezuka had ever seen! The atrocious feather was probably the thing that caused the Captain to take a step back in shock.

Tezuka plus feathers equaled Not Happy.

At all.

Bane seemed to wearing the same thing except for the fact that there was no mighty feather upon his hat.

There was a bird.

And, no, it wasn't a stuffed bird.

It was a real bird. A bird that yawned, stretched, stomped, and occasionally took off in pursuit of prey when it was hungry.

The only downside was that it came back to perch on Bane's hat when it caught its victim. And would promptly start showering Bane with blood, bones, and all.

One would think it highly unpleasant and a horrible experience but Bane secretly enjoyed it.

Tezuka reminded himself to not be surprised anymore. Apparently, in this place, anything was possible. It wouldn't be unusual if a leprechaun came up to him singing the national anthem of Azerbaijan!

"What's two plus two?" the person on the podium said.

'Four' Tezuka immediately thought.

"Um. . . . four?" Apparently, the other guy thought it was a stupid question too.

"Nope! It's a tutu!!" Davide laughed his own joke, while Bane stood looking on in horror.

"How many wheels does a car have?"

Bane concentrated very deeply, trying to figure out what the trick in this question could possible be.

"Um. . . . . " Bane was thinking very hard.

"Here let me help you!" joyfully exclaimed the purple feathered man. A car fell out of the sky and landed next to Davide.

Bane leaped away in shock thus bumping into Tezuka who promptly fell over. . . . into a patch of poison ivy.

"AUUURRGGGGG!! IVY!! I'M ITCHY!!" yelled Bane who had stepped into the itchy substance.

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YOU GOT IVY-ISED!!" Davide cackled.

"Is that even a word?' Tezuka wondered while idly scratching his wrists. Then his ankles. Then his neck. . . . then his elbows . . . .

Out of nowhere, Davide produced a small vial filled with a murky milky-white liquid.

Holding it high over his head, he paraded around the, now, madly itching Tezuka and the hopping Bane.

Halting dramatically, he stuck the vial in the air and struck a dramatic pose.

"This bottle contains a goodness commonly called . . . . . The-Antidote-To-Unbearable-Itching!"

Bane gasped as Davide's words hit him. His eyes tearing up with unsuppressed emotion of love for Davide's randomness for having a bottle of antidote for his itching problem, he inched himself closer to Davide.

Only to have Davide smirk evilly and push him away.

David waved the bottle around and exclaimed, "This bottle only contains enough antidote for one person! So I propose a contest! The first person to crack a smile, laugh outrageously, or make any other noise, other than to answer my questions, from this point onwards, will NOT receive the antidote! YAY!"

Tezuka and Bane looked at Davide with something akin to horror.

Then, slowly, they looked at each other.

Eyes narrowed, they silently made a joint decision.

The battle was ON!!

**Once again, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and are now waiting in suspence for the next chapter! XD**

**Please Review! Or else Bane's bird's going to shower you with blood, bones, and all!**


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